More intensive arrests of Warsaw intelligentsia. Those known to us include, anong others, Lawyer Stanislaw BENKIEL, Lawyer Ludwik DYZENHAUS, Pedagogue Szymon LUBELSKI, Dr. Franciszek STURM - all hostages in the Kott matter.
And the Kott matter was this: Andrzej Kazimierz KOTT, 20 years old - denounced by the chief of a conspiratorial organisation - escaped from the Gestapo building at Szucha Ave. The arrests which followed included whole families and persons without any connection with the "Kott matter". Also arrested was Papa's colleague, Wladyslaw WASIAK, as well as Josek GOLD, Stanislaw and Tadeusz KUBALSKI , Wiktor WALEWSKI, Dr. Karol DREWNOWSKI, famous historian and lecturer in the State Grammar School of Adam Mickiewicz, together with his wife and two sons (Andrzej, 17 and Tadeusz, 13).
And, a few days later, Jerzy EGIELMAN, Alfred OZIEBLO and many, many others. Again - sadness, despair and the question: what next?
Dr. & Mrs. Zygmunt (as everyone in the house calls them now) have
began helping immediately with domestic problems. Dr. Zygmunt works.
Mrs. Irma has put herself at Mama's disposal, happy that Sulenka has so
much delight here with my dolls and that Maryla has taken her under her
wing at once.
Severe frosts have arrived, down to minus 25 degrees C. Sales of fuel have
stopped. Our "foursome", as we called ourselves, had previously managed
to obtain some coal by standing in depot queues wherever we could.
Josek and I suffered badly frostbitten feet and Mama had to get some
paraffin oil which Maryla rubbed into the frostbitten places. We then
warmed them in front of the kitchen stove. Papa also brought some
ointment and they bound up our legs until we looked like invalids.
Everyone, except only Freda, wondered how it was that by merely going to
school ("komplety" in my case) and for short walks we became so
frostbitten despite wearing woolen stockings, socks and thickly-soled
footwear. None of the parents knew that their children often stood for
hours in hard frost to obtain that extra bucket of coal. Later, when
coal was no longer on sale, it was only some dross, turf or briquettes.
Sula went together with Maryla so when her little legs got cold Maryla
picked her up, warmed her under her coat and rubbed her legs. Very
often Sula burst into tears anyway, so people let Maryla through and she
received her share more quickly. Because everyone had consideration
for that delicate child, lovely as a picture.
From time to time, quite innocently and child-like, Sula tried to
give the game away. But it always worked out , somehow. There was
always Jos, who was able to change the subject so quickly by getting
Sula to talk about the dolls that she would forget what she wanted to
say - while the grown-ups paid no attention, preoccupied with more
serious, adult matters.
Indeed, our parents were preoccupied with matters of an entirely
different nature such as the registration (by order) of belongings,
real-estate, landed property, valuables, etc. with the Germans. The
children were under Maryla's care, so they did not worry about them.
They knew nothing of the domestic "enterprise". We made things much
easier for the whole household. At that time everyone still had money
but it was difficult to buy things. Only now poverty began to creep
into our home more and more often.
Among the poorer people not a day passed without an incident of death
through weakness, hunger, or by freezing in the street.
One day the Germans authorities issued an order concerning private trade
in the City of Warsaw. Trading would be permitted only in designated
markets. The Jews were allocated a restricted area from the beginning
of Krakowskie suburb, along Karowa, Krochmalna and Sienna streets.
At the same time an order came out as to who was regarded by the
German authorities as a Jew. This read as follows:
Regarded as Jews are those descended from both Jewish parents, or
those descended from a Jewish mother or only father, or if one of these
parents had a Jewish mother or father, present religious allegiance
making no difference.
There was general confusion in our house because the Jewish Religious
Guild has had to hand over previously prepared lists to the Gestapo
authorities. Another cause of not only confusion but of despair and
anguish for Mrs. Irma and great sorrow for everyone, was the arrest from
his place of work of Dr. Zygmunt by the Gestapo.
From then on Mrs. Irma and my Mama spent all their time in the city.
They were running around to sort something out, to try to find out
where he is, where they have taken the doctor. Perhaps it may be
possible to get him out. So far no one knows where he is.
Their children do not know about this - and cannot be told. It has been
explained to them that their daddy has gone away temporarily because he
had to. Sula does not realise that perhaps it is something else. She
only shakes her head sadly that daddy did not say goodbye. Everyone
assures her that he did say goodbye, only she was so fast asleep that it
was not possible to wake her.
Josek, on the other hand, could think for himself and so it was more
difficult to get him to believe what he could be told. And so, for
instance, he suddenly asked me whether I believed that his daddy could
have gone away like that, without warning? My heart was heavy. What
could I say to this brave boy? Tears stood in my eyes and my throat
tightened, but I covered it up by pretending to be reading the book
which, fortunately, I had in my hands. I also started to cough. When I
had calmed down sufficiently to be able to speak, I told him that he
must believe what adults tell him because they are more experienced,
cleverer and as a rule have no need to deceive us, especially at the age
which we have reached. However, he reacted by saying:
"You know very well, Lala, that parents regard their children as
infants - even those who have grown up. And that's why they 'deceive'
them, out of habit. But I am grown up enough, as you yourself stressed
when talking about our age, that I should be told the truth - even the
worst - but truth. Because then I will know how to behave in case of
anything, how to get back at the enemy, revenge the wrong done to my
father and also to defend my mother and sister."
My heart broke as I felt intuitively that he would share the same fate
as previously did our friends who became orphans long since. This boy
is so close to me, so dear. How impressed I am by his attitude of
mental, rather than physical, maturity. He is always ready to help
anyone with anything. that is why, liking him at first, everyone has
come to love him.
Each day both mothers return home tired-out and utterly tormented by
their helplessness despite so many and varied efforts. But they are
still unable to find out anything.
At present my Papa's situation is also uncertain. Mrs. Irena tries to
persuade him to obtain a different set of personal documents and to
leave the house as soon as possible. Mama does not voice her decision.
Papa, on the other hand, considers that his position is so clear and
transparent that there can be no mistake in that respect. Apart from
that, he has always been courageous and honest and is very close to Dr.
Zygmunt. On one occasion he told us this:
"If they were capable of taking from us a man like Zygmunt, then I will
calmly accept whatever fate decrees. I am not a coward and will not
leave you - especially at a time like this."
And so there was no discussion. It was only decided that Dr. Zygmunt
must be found and freed at all costs. My parents mobilised all their
resources, including their friends, as well as their remaining financial
means.
Josek asked many questions each day. The poor boy guessed a good deal
and did not hide this from me. He made plans for rescuing his daddy -
including escape, kidnapping, armed assault and hiding him. I often
pretended I did not understand what he was driving at. Anything so as
not to inflame his boyish fantasies towards unthinkable actions.
One day he swore to me on his knees, beating his chest, that he would
revenge the unjust loss of his father. And he would revenge it with
such severity that I was afraid to go out in the street with him in
case, out of control and maddened by his pain, he should throw himself
at some German gendarme.
Because no one in the house would confirm his suppositions concerning
the arrest of Dr. Zygmunt, the boy seemed gradually to believe his
mother's words - that his father had really gone away in connection with
the building of their new home. And that this was not to be discussed
because it would spoil the surprise. But it is certain that he did not
believe this fairly tale. He was too intelligent and mature for that,
considering his age. But he managed to control himself to such an
extent that he put on a mask of apparent calm. Instead of directing all
conversation around his father as before, he now avoided the subject of
his absence silently. Busy with their own problems, the adults did not
notice this. I, on the other hand, felt it and knew that he was
struggling within himself. He matured in the course of this internal
battle. More so and earlier than his contemporaries. And I with him
and by his side. Here I must admit that although he was several years
younger I learned a lot from him. Much of my strength of spirit I owe
precisely to him.
At the sight of a uniformed German SS-man or even one from the
Wehrmacht, this child bristled like a cat arching its spine, clenching
his fists until the nails dug painfully into the flesh. Yet in
conversation there was not the least tremble in his voice, despite a
throat choked with despair.
Although he had withdrawn into himself, he had days of confidences,
boyish dreams, which he shared with me most willingly. We were almost
siblings.
One day all four of us were in town. Another boy sidled up to Josek in
the street. They spoke to each other for a moment and then Josek had in
his hand a conspiratorial pamphlet called "Poland Lives", No.26. He would
not show it to us until we returned home, when all of us read it.
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